Trying to get back at it…

You see, this year has had so many ups and downs for me. I think after wishing for a better year, considering the hardships I faced the previous year, I got a 2017 part two; double the challenges, double the pain and double the questions as to WHY!

Currently, I am at a point in life where every little bit hurts, the physical, the emotional and the mental. I find it hard to accept that the space I am in requires me to push myself to a state of growth and not stagnation anymore. I am not even sure what I am writing about, what I am planning, what I am wishing for, whatever it is that I currently want with my life. I am super tired of holding it together when everything has fallen apart.

So I had a call with someone dear to me and she reminded me to do it, whether I am beat down, frustrated, depressed or pushed to the wall. I just need to keep at it, not give up or give in until the race is over. Until God says, Issa wrap, time for a break. And now I believe that the break will be a blessing, something that will give me rest, to get a chance to mentally heal and get some sort of relief from all the pain that I still hold from the past.

With this small feeling of growth that I am willing to fuel, I have done some soul searching and reckoned that one of the things that I need to be consistent in… is writing. The dear person I mentioned above also told me to place something to paper, whether it makes sense or not, and just make sure that I instill the virtue of progress instead of stagnation. So there goes nothing! I am just here to tell you that I am still here, still willing to write on, to push harder, to look forward and not get stuck in the past.

And to you who is reading this, do not dare give up! Keep pushing harder. Try and heal from the pain. Allow yourself to hurt, but just don’t allow yourself to wallow in your own pity.

And hey, don’t forget to smile.

Love, Jess